Silence is Golden
by stick.of.dynamite
Summary: Clare has an extremely rare disease that leaves her mute and utlra-sensitive to light, sound, and touch. Eli has the power to cure without medicine, machines and doctors. Will he help her find life without words?
1. The Beginning

**Author's Note: **_Helwo, fandom-I decided to write a Degrassi fic that had absolutely nothing to do with its premise but a whole lot to do with Eli and Clare. I want to let everyone know that the disease mentioned below is completely made up and the whole story is made-up. It starts a little slow but don't most stories? Please read and review!_

_I do NOT own Degrassi nor its characters, just this sappy story._

* * *

I remember when I woke up and met him. His hair, his face, his eyes, his slight pout when he spoke, his little breath he would take when he got nervous, his odd disposition when I looked at him, his laugh, his smile-I remember it all.

I remember when I fell asleep and dreamt about him. His skin touching mine, not overbearingly, just soft enough so that it didn't feel awkward or rushed-just right. His lip brushing up against mine and his smirk after he pulled away from me, staring at my raspberry stained cheeks.

I remember when my life begun as he filled the hole in my heart.

The day started off with its usual beginning: the sound of kids outdoors playing, the sound of birds chirping, summertime life.

But I was stuck inside, watching the world on my windowsill with a tear cascading down my cheek. I felt it's beauty from afar, wanting to be a part of it. My hair blew with the wind, and I shivered slightly at its breeze. I wish people would appreciate the things they have more often.

"Claire," my nurse, Alli Bandhari , called from the room next door. "Time for your meds."

Ah… that impervious word: meds.

I got up from my tiny cushion and walked towards her, grabbing the pill bottle she had in her hands. I nodded as a gesture of thanks and downed the pills without water. The thing about pills I love is the tickle they leave in your throat as they go down to your esophagus. It feels hard and soft at the same time; such an hypocritical feeling.

"Will you be okay for the next couple of weeks?" she asked looking at me.

"Mm.." I muttered. That meant yes.

"You are absolutely positive? You can get the mail from the mailman, use the car if you have to, do everything while I'm gone?"

"Mm!" I muttered, happily. That meant positively yes.

Alli kissed my forehead, "Be good, okay? If you can get through these weeks without me, you'll be certified to live on your own. Bye, love." And with that Alli left.

To be honest, I was quite frightened of the shock therapy my doctors were giving me. They wanted to test the waters and see if I could actually do this: be the first person with my disease to live alone, sufficiently.

I was a lucky one, the one that gave the others like me hope. I was the first person to make it past 17 successfully-I'm 19. And I'm the first one who can move around and comprehend what was going on around me. But there are setbacks, like the others, I can't speak, I can't go outdoors-only at nighttime-, and my body gets weak with too much movement. These factors pretty much confine me to my apartment.

My parents bought me apartment with all these amenities and they take care of my finances since I can't work. They have been my support system throughout the years making sure I could grow up with a semi-normal life.

Treatment after treatment and not one single name has been found for my disease. Only 1 out every 99,000,000 get this disease and it's such a rare disorder that no one can quite claim it.

"Parkinson's? Irrationality? Autism? Down-syndrome? Kidney failure? Cancer?" The doctors all speculated but since there was nothing internally wrong with me, they could never find out.

But I remember when they knew something was extremely wrong. It was when they gave me shots, the punctured skin would turn a weird shade of purple and it would sting so badly for hours after the shot. They knew my skin was extremely sensitive to something. And when I stepped out into sunlight, the purple spots would attack my skin, licking my body from head-to-toe like an infected Barney. That's when they ruled out daytime for me.

And the muteness, I've been practically mute since birth. They thought I was deaf but I can write words and phrases and they learned I could read by letting me read books and take comprehension tests in school. But the problem with writing was that my hands would shake and the pencil would seem to fall out my hands and my fingers would be bruised with that purple nightmare again. I had to do selective homeschooling so I could get my high-school diploma.

Lastly, school was ruled out for me-I couldn't focus. My body is not only sensitive to light and movement but too much sound. I get excruciating headaches from the noise. It has to be completely quiet, or relatively quiet, for me to focus.

So with this unnamed disease, I live my life. Mostly with my nurse by my side and doctors but they are testing me to see if I can function without her for awhile. Two months, eight weeks, sixty days. I can do it-I want to be able to function without her. But I'm not quite sure if I can.

* * *

**Day One**

"Claire," my mother said, brushing my skin lightly, "how do you feel today? Good? Bad? Indifferent?"

I nodded, "Mm…mmhm." That meant "good".

"That's great, Claire! Did you take your medicine?"

I nodded without speaking. Of course I did.

"That's wonderful, honey!" My mother crooned. The crooning was borderline obnoxious.

"Well your father and I are just down the street if you need anything. I'm so proud of you-you're going to be able to get through this trial period just fine."

I nodded, smiling without happiness. "You and dad are always just down the street, and you're always proud of me. I'm your little engine that couldn't , remember?" Was what I wished I could say but I'm kind of thankful that I'm unable to.

I dislike having so many people watching me, coming and going through my house as they please, expecting me to drop dead at any second. If I'm two years older than the estimate death time, you'd think people would back off for awhile. No, it makes them even more eager to chomp at the bit even more.

"If you can get past this period, we're thinking about enrolling you back into school. College, online. You can have a personal tutor."

My eyes lit up. School seemed interesting, especially college although I wouldn't have much of a "college experience" but it could get my mind off things. Besides, it would give me something to look forward to after the trial period.

"Do you think that sounds feasible?"

I nodded, "Mm." That meant of course.

My mother left shortly after that, leaving me to myself and the four walls of my apartment. It was weird without Alli around. Usually she would be somewhere in the house, chatting on the phone. I would soak in her voice, wishing I'd sound just like her if I could speak properly. I shrugged that off.

I slowly got up and headed to the itinerary on top of the refrigerator that listed what I was supposed to do.

_Hello Claire,_

_This is Doctor Simpson, and Nurse Alli, writing to you._

_1. If you feel strong enough, go retrieve your medicine from the cabinet. Please take it carefully._

_2. Your mother is to stop by today, discuss after trial plans._

_3. Retrieve mail from mailman through the mail-latch on top of the screen door. He won't give you mail if no one is on the other side of the door to open the latch so don't forget._

_4. Rest and relax: look at some television and watch the world outside of your window._

_5. If you feel hungry, there is some premade food for you to heat up in the fridge. If you feel strong enough to make some, please feel free._

_-Simpson and Bandhari _

After reading that, I felt kind of stupid. I thought my life was a lot more complicated but it seemed easy enough.

There was a knock on the door. It startled me at first. Who would be knocking-oh, right, the mailman.

As I headed to the door to grab the mail, I began to think about Alli. This must be so easy for her, grabbing the mail and walking away. It was frightening to me. The only people I ever saw were my parents and doctors so actually seeing someone from the real world is…strange.

I opened the latch, slowly. I wanted to see who was on the other side; this mysterious mail deliverer who probably came to my apartment everyday and thought Alli lived here. I shut the latch and decided to open the door. The doorknob's touch was incredibly foreign to me, its smooth metal surface, coated with a glossy feeling. It felt like metallic ice. Or, maybe because my skin was so awkward, it seemed that way. I wanted to hold to the doorknob forever but I realized I needed to get the mail so I slowly turned the handle.

For some reason, my heart raced knowing a visitor would be just on the other side. Oh, who am I kidding, it's not even going to be a real person. Watch it be some kind of mail drone who is so used to delivering mail that they won't even be astonished to see that it's another person other than Alli fetching the paper.

I opened the door fully and stared at the beautiful creature staring at me with striking features and my mail. My mouth was agape at the figure standing before me.

* * *

_I hope you liked it. It's pretty weird, eh?_


	2. Strangers

**Author's Note: **_Helwo, again. I am feeling the writing fire today! Here is Chapter Two! :D _

_Thanks for reviewing, keep doing it!_

_I do NOT own Degrassi nor its characters, just this sappy story._

* * *

I immediately shut my mouth. Idiot, it's a guy. What are you doing?

"M-m," I barely muttered. I grabbed the mail from the man's hands and stood there, still bumbling like an idiot. As my hand brushed his, his skin felt soft. It felt like velvet flame-he was so… warm.

The man looked at me, his mouth agape like mine was but with a sense of curiosity in his eyes.

"Do-do you live here?" he asked surprised. I almost dismissed his question because I fell victim to his emerald specs.

"Mm…" That stood for yes, but he was unaware of it.

His ivory skin looked like lotion. He felt warm and smooth and exuded the calmest demeanor. It was almost like he was a sea of soft desert sand…. Shit, I left the door open to long. My hands started to grow weak and the sunlight was beating down on me. I didn't want to close the door, though. The pain I felt was being washed away by this guy's irresistible beauty.

"Well?" he asked. It was genuine curiosity-he didn't sound annoyed that I was unable to answer him like a normal human being.

His jet-black hair blew by with the small wind that passed through. It was coiffed to the side, slightly brushing over his face. It was dream-like.

I started to feel the pain again; my skin was bruising quickly where I was holding the door to long on my hand. I was hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Miss-Miss, are you… hurt?" Again, it was curiosity in his voice.

"Mmhmm…" I mumbled again, still not wanting to turn away from the man. I slammed the door short before he got any closer. Other bruises were developing on my skin and my fingers began to weaken from holding the mail too long. I fell to the ground, exhausted from standing up. It sucks major ass being sick.

I awoke to some doctor surrounding me in front of my bedside.

"Hmm…" I managed to mumble groggily.

"You fell asleep in front of the front door," a male voice said. Aha, it was Simpson. "Did you get in the sunlight today, Claire?"

I couldn't lie. I nodded. "Mmm." That meant sorry.  
"Well, I think that you still need some time with a nurse before your trial. You just…. You just aren't strong enough yet. Nurse Alli is gone already, on vacation, and she's tired; I want to give her a break. My other doctors are full with other patients…" Simpson was going off on a tangent-speaking to himself. I felt like such an idiot. Why did I keep the door open so long? Hell, why did I even _open _the door? Why didn't I just follow instructions and use the latch?

These are the times I wished I could speak. I would just tell him I can do it, I can live by myself. I'm 19, for goodness sake-I could do it.

"Wait!" Simpson's eyes lit up. "That man who helped you!"

Man, what man? My face was puzzled.

"When you fell earlier, the mailman, he helped you up and into bed and called us. We left the number on the counter for emergencies. Maybe… no I don't know…"

Man? Oh, the man! The one with the forest green eyes, perfect complexion, and marvelous face? He helped me?

"I'd have to confer with him…and your parents… but what would you think about having a male nurse? I mean, he's not certified or anything…. I don't know, we'd have to see. Maybe, you could still do your trial period but have him check on you?"

I nodded. I'd give anything to see that man's face again, but under different circumstances, of course.

* * *

**Day Two**

The doctors and my parents discussed the continuation of my trial. They contacted the mailman; apparently he had a name: Eli.

That sounds so ethereal, Eli does. Anyway, he will come check on me and they gave him a key. They also installed cameras in the house while I was asleep so that if any "suspicious activity" arose while he came in, he could be dealt with. But I highly doubt with a face that angelic that he'd ever do anything. Hell, he helped the sick and partially lame-he wouldn't take advantage of me.

I just came out of bed, slowly walking to the bathroom. My whole body felt limp underneath me. I really shouldn't have opened that door. I felt too weak from the sunlight. As I approached the bathroom, I was very grateful that there was no doorknob on this door. All the doors in my apartment were push, except for the front door. The push door makes it easier for me to open and close things without hurting myself.

I walked into the bathroom and carefully turned the light on. I stared at myself in the mirror, looking at the purple bruises on my skin. My whole complexion looked pale, paler than clouds at high altitudes, paler than any type of ghost imaginable. My hair was curly but a very light, sandy colored brown. And my eyes, they were like saddened rivers-they seemed so empty.

If that Eli couldn't tell I was sick by the way I looked, he was obviously oblivious to anything in the entire world.

My legs felt weak and I fell to the ground. I hate feeling weak all the time; I mean, I'd just like to be able to stand for long periods of time, or walk around for hours. I'd feel like less of a burden.

I allowed myself to sit on the cold, tiled bathroom floor. The cool feel seemed to ice my bruises a little and I felt like I sat on the ground for hours.

I heard the front door open. The sound of the door scraping across the floor startled me. Was it my parents? Simpson? Wait… could it be Eli?

"H-hello?" It _was_ him.

My heart was beating. I knew that he was supposed to check-in but I didn't really think he would. I mean, I know it's nice to help the sick but I didn't really think people were actually that kind. Well, who am I kidding, my doctors told him to-it wasn't him just being courteous. Maybe he volunteered to watch me, though-maybe they didn't really have to ask him. Or what if he was a felon and he need community service hours and I was just a ploy to get him out of jail? Or maybe…

"Um… Miss Claire? Miss Claire are you awake?"

I heard his footsteps around the house. Damn it, Claire, get up. I don't want him to pick me up again; I have to prove that I'm not this little weakling he can just carry on and then tell my doctors I'm not well enough to live alone.

His footsteps were light and heavy, like the pills, a wonderful contradiction. His steps got closer and closer to the bathroom door. I started to play a game in my mind, like a race against the clock sort of thing. As he neared the door, the more I would attempt to pick myself off the ground, beating him to the start.

I struggled slightly, slowly rising before he could get to the bathroom. My legs had fallen asleep from sitting so long, and the seemed weaker.

"Claire?" I heard his voice fully now. He was standing in front of the bathroom door. Since the lights were on I guess he assumed I was using the restroom.

"Claire, it's Eli, the mailman. Um, I'm in here checking on you. If you need anything I'll be here for the next hour. I'll-I'll be in the, uh, the living room," he said, softly. He cleared his throat. He was uncomfortable with assisting me. I guess he really didn't know how to react towards me.

I got up all the way from the ground and headed out of the bathroom. My heart fluttered as I approached the living room and saw him standing there, looking around at my house. He was immensely attractive.

I'd seen so many male models and actors on television-All would show me movies and things and keep me up to date. He was no Ryan Reynolds or Brad Pitt but yet he appeared so flawless to me. I have no idea why I was so attracted to him.

I stared at him, not saying a word. His back was to me. He was wearing his mail uniform and he was looking around with that same look he had before: pure curiosity. I didn't know if I was supposed to clear my throat or mutter a noise. I just wanted to look at him.

He suddenly turned around and that threw me off. He stared at me and smiled, delicately.

"Claire," he said. His voice was enigmatic. "Hey, is everything okay?" He walked towards me.

I swear, as he got closer, he could hear my heart flutters. "Are you okay? Your face is turning beet red? Do-do you feel sick?" He placed his hand on my head. His hand was so cool and light. It was like heaven was on his fingertips.

"Mmm…," I slowly shook my head no. I was probably not actually sick but lovesick.

I placed my hand on his hand, holding it there for a little longer than I should. Then I gently moved his hand away. I gestured toward the couch, trying to show him that I wanted to sit down.

"The couch? Do you want to lie down?" He understood!

"Mmhmm," I mumbled. That meant yes-I hope he understood _that_. He nodded.

We didn't move for a moment and just looked in to each other's eyes. I knew that he wasn't looking at me the same way I was looking at him. He was studying me and I ogling him; wasn't this such a gender reversal? I cleared my throat feeling overwhelmed by his beauty and started walking to the couch.

He stood behind me, not quite sure if he should help me walk around or not. I sat down on the couch and he sat beside me, not too close but not too far away.

"Um, I'm sorry if I'm too intense. I'm Elijah Goldsworthy and I was the mail-" I interrupted his speech by nodding, trying to tell him that I understood all of what he was about to say. I wanted to tell him, "You've already told me this, I'm sick not stupid," and try to make a small joke out the situation.

"Oh, right… I said that earlier," he said, chuckling nervously. I nodded again, smiling.

"Uh, I don't know if the doctor-Doctor Simpson-told you why-" I nodded faster, interrupting him again.

"Okay… I guess he did. I'm sorry I'm so repetitive," he said, sighing. I shook my head, reassuring him that he wasn't. He laughed at my gesture. "Wow, you really understand me. N-not saying that you wouldn't but you…" He stumbled on his words. "It's just… I thought you were deaf at first. But you can hear-you can hear me?" I didn't know if he was asking me or asking himself but I just nodded. I pointed over to the kitchen counter where the emergency numbers were. There was a pencil and pad of paper next to it.

"Y-you want something?" He pointed back there. I nodded. For someone so dangerously beautiful, he was extremely cautious.

He got up and walked over to the kitchen. "Um, what is it? Food, drink?" I shook my head and started to pantomime writing.

"This?" He picked up the pad with emergency numbers. "Are you okay? Do you need me to call someone?" He started to panic. I chuckled quietly and shook my head. I began to pantomime writing once again. He obviously sucks at charades.

"Oh! I'm sorry I got so scared. You want the pencil and paper?" I lifted up my thumb as a "thumbs up" for yes.

He came back and handed me the supplies. He sat down beside, further away than last time. I slowly picked up the pencil and began to write.

_I am able to understand you. You seem to understand me pretty well. But first, are you here on your own account, or did someone force you? Why did you-_

My hand started to hurt and dropped the pencil. I was going to ask why he picked me up yesterday but the pain shot through my fingers so fast I was incapable.

"Claire," he said, worried. He scooted over and grabbed my hand. "Do-do you need, uh, medicine?"

Meds! Oh my goodness, he was a life saver. I had forgotten to take my medicine. Maybe that was why I felt weaker than usual. I nodded, smiling weakly. My hand hurt like hell, but his touch seemed to soothe it.

He walked away, letting go, and went to grab my medicine. As he approached me to hand me the medicine, he tripped on the leg of my coffee table and fell on top of me, spilling the medicine all over the couch. I looked up at him, uneasy at first, but not wanting him to move.

* * *

_:D Gotta love cliff-hangers. _


	3. Absence and Arrival

**Author's Note: **_Helwo, friends. The story is going to begin now! I apologize for the confusing cliff-hanger but, I assure you, it will all be explained. Here is Chapter Three! :D _

_Thanks for reviewing, keep doing it!_

_I do NOT own Degrassi nor its characters, just this sappy story._

* * *

"I-I'm so sorry!" Eli said, practically jumping off of me. I was sat up right, slowly, staring at my skin. I was certain that it would scar since we were on each other but… it didn't. I shook my head, trying to calm him down. He was so frantic-I felt so bad. If I wasn't sick he probably wouldn't have gotten so scared of me.

He scurried about, trying to pick up the spilled medication. I giggled at his speed-he was like a worried cheetah. He looked up at me, after hearing my giggle.

"You aren't mad?" I shook my head no.

"Well, I'm going to get you fresh medicine. I'm so sorry…" He walked away, retrieving the new pills. I chuckled even more at the fact that he said medicine. He could've just said "meds" like a regular person. But, whatever, I liked his… politeness.

He came over, handing me the pills, trying not to get so close. I grinned at his distance.

"W-what's so funny?" He asked. "Seriously, you ask what's so funny; you fell on top of me and you act like you've never touched a girl before?" was what I wanted to say back but I shook my head. I took the pills, without water as usual, and then motioned for Eli to sit down.

He was so awkward but I was drawn to his nervousness. I found it ironic that I found some foreign confidence within myself. Yesterday, I was completely nervous around him but today it was the opposite. I felt okay around him today, maybe I was delusional.

"So… since I'm gonna be around for awhile. I figure I should ask you some questions, if that's alright with you?" He said, rubbing his hands on his laps-a cute, nervous gesture. I nodded.

He smiled, and nodded. "Alright, well I'll ask you now. Um, what exactly-what are you sensitive to the most?"

I made a puzzled look. Honestly, I didn't quite know. I guessed sunlight but just about anything could trigger my scars. I pointed toward the window.

"Outdoors…?" I turned my hand back-and-forth: a not quite gesture. I pointed at the window, trying to edge my finger upwards to point to the sunlight.

"Sun-sunlight!" Eli said loudly. It was a eureka moment. I smiled because he understood.

"So, do you ever go outside?" I shook my head no. I mean, theoretically, I could go out at night but that would require movement on my behalf and I'd probably be too weak and tired. I would love to go outside, though.

"Not even at night?" He looked astonished. I shook my head again.

"Wow… so, is life, like, hard for you?" I made that puzzled face again. I didn't really know how to answer that. I mean, my life is relatively simple: I don't have to do much of anything. But the disease is not so simple. I didn't answer his question, lost in thought.

"Never mind, we'll skip that. Why-why don't you ask, uh, me some questions?" He sounded like a newly certified therapist.

I nodded, grabbing the pencil and paper I dropped off the table. I hoped that the meds would work and I would be able to write longer. Maybe if I write faster…

I erased my questions from before off the pad and started to write anew.

_How old are you? _

I showed him the pad.

"I'm 21," he said.

_Do you have a girlfriend, kid, family?_

"Uh…" he laughed, uneasily. "No I don't have a girlfriend, nor a kid, I think."

_Family?_

"Yeah, but I moved away from them. They preferred country life, I preferred the city."

_What's life like outside?_

"Uh…" His face seemed puzzled now. "Well… it's, uh, definitely complicated. It's not bad but it's not great either."

_Would you ever-_

My writing was interrupted by his words. "Well, it looks like it's been around an hour. Um, I'll be back tomorrow-I've gotta finish my shift." He stood up and headed toward the door.

"Um, I want to apologize again for the, erm, fall and my rudeness. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said, waving. He headed out the door slowly locking it behind him. He left so abruptly that I didn't know how to react.

I finished writing my sentence: _Would you ever take me outside?_

* * *

**Day Three**

My day was spent alone. Eli didn't come over. He didn't even deliver my mail.

I even waited for the mail today, eagerly expecting to see his face.

The knock came on the door and I walked slowly toward the door, opening it, used to its feeling.

I opened it smiling and was astonished at the tall, lanky figure before me. He plain, brown eyes, flat, greasy, long blonde hair and a sex offender mustache. A mail drone.

"Here," the stranger said, shoving my mail in my hands and nonchalantly walking off.

* * *

**Day Four**

Once again, there was no knock, no other footsteps. No one was here. The days felt like nothing without him.

* * *

**Day Five**

I was depressed. I didn't even get up because I expected him not to be there. I slept all day. This was the first day I had dreamt about him:

_I was sitting on a grassy knoll, eating outside with Eli, his arm around me. The wind was blowing, bees were buzzing, birds chirping-the typical cliché female fantasy._

_My hair was softly curled, and I was wearing a beautiful sundress. My skin glowed and there were no bruises as the sun ravaged my skin. Eli smiled at me, lightly stroking my hair and watching me eat an apple. _

_"You're so beautiful," he whispered in my ear. _

_I smiled, blushing. And he moved over and his lips brushed against my cheek. His hands roamed around my back, his touch lingering. His lips moved to my throat, adorning my neck with small kisses._

_"Eli..," I said aloud, in bliss._

I sat up, hoping that my dream was real. I don't know why I dreamt about him, thought about him. It felt like all my senses wanted him there but I didn't even know him. It was over the moon irrational.

* * *

**Day Six**

I sat down on the couch, watching T.V., typical daytime television. I wasn't watching it, I was bored. I had completely given up the notion that Eli was coming over again. I was getting up to go get my meds when the front door just opened. I didn't have any real feeling toward this sudden outburst. I was so used to people coming and going as they pleased through my apartment.

Then, I heard who it was.

"Miss, Miss Clare?" Eli.

I downed my pills and speed-walked out of the kitchen. The meds worked fast-or maybe it was excitement from hearing Eli that made me walk so fast.

"Clare?" He saw me. "Hey, I'm-I'm here for the next hour, y'know, watching you."

I nodded. I kept staring at him wondering if he was really here or if I was hallucinating.

He smiled at me then went to go sit down on the couch. I stood back at the kitchen near the pad with the emergency numbers and pencil. I began to write.

_Where were you?_

Then, I chucked the pad at him. I chuckled to myself as it hit the back of his head. He leapt off the couch like he had been shot.

"Huh?" He turned around and looked at me, for some weird reassurance. I edged my head downward and pointed to the pad on the floor.

"Oh… this?" He asked me picking it up. Duh! I nodded and giggled again.

"Where…were you?" He read aloud. "Um, oh right. I'm sorry I had been MIA. Um, I just had some, uh, stuff to do that's all." He scratched the back of his head nervously. I knew he was lying.

"Were you okay without me?" I nodded.

"I want-I want to make my absence up to you."

I was astonished at his words. Why would he want to do that? I mean, I was alright-it wasn't like he owed me anything. I wasn't manic or suicidal that he wasn't there. He didn't really mean anything to me. I mean, I barely even know the guy and besides, what could he possibly do to make it up to me?

He saw my questioning look. "You can giggle, and laugh."

I nodded, still making a questioning glance. What did that have to do with anything?

"You can speak. And that's how I'm-I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm gonna teach you how to talk. And… and be human," he said, trying to find the words to say.

What? I can't speak. I've never been able to speak. And why does he want to be my life-coach or something? I don't get this.

"Come here." Excuse me? I looked even more confused and stood still.

"Come _here_," he said, egging me on. So I moved over to him. This was beyond strange.

"Okay, I-I…. There's a reason for my nervousness. The questions, my fall on top of you… that was all on purpose," he admitted. I began to shake my head still more confused than I was before.

"You see, I was testing you. I want to help you live."

* * *

_Oooh, he wants to help her live? What does this mailman mean? :)_


	4. Words

**Author's Note: **_Helwo! I want to apologize for the mis-spelling of Ms. Edwards' name. I have to remember it's _Clare_ not _Claire. _.__ Anyway, here is Chapter Four! (notice the time-jumps, they'll keep occuring throughout the story because I'm doing 60 chapters for 60 days... too much work .)_

_Thanks for reviewing, keep doing it!_

_I do NOT own Degrassi nor its characters, just this sappy story._

* * *

_What the hell?_

"I want to help you live," he said, smiling at me. He looked… accomplished? I couldn't quite put my finger on his expression. I still had this look on my face like this kid was obviously psycho.

"Sit," he said, sitting down the couch himself. Okay, I really didn't like all the commands he was giving me but I kept following his lead.

"When I saw you, when you opened the door a couple days ago, I knew you were sick." Well that's a given; I look pretty ill.

"And-and when you slammed the door in my face… I knew you were ashamed. You-you were embarrassed by your illness. I feel for you-or felt for you, I don't know, but I wanted to be there for you. And right after you shut the door, I didn't know if you locked it or not, I just was compelled-compelled to come in and talk to you," he said. He paused slightly. "Luckily, it was unlocked and I opened it and I saw you, mail strewn on the floor, lying there. You were between-between unconsciousness and consciousness. And since I saw you in such a sad state, I knew I couldn't speak to you…so I walked to your bedroom and put you there…"

I looked at his face for what felt like the first time, only exemplified. His unique shade of green eyes, his unusually pale skin, his raven-twined hair; I watched him talk to me and my heartbeat raced. I thought I was more confident around him but the way he talked to me now made me uneasy.

"I looked around your house for sometime of phone. I wanted to call someone to check on you or see if you were alright and I found those numbers on the counter and I talked to your doctor. I told them you were ill and then I left. Doctor Simpson called me the next day, begging for some type of assistance, and I couldn't say no. So that's why-that's why I came.

"And I saw you the next day and fell on you, wanting to see if you really were as weak as they said you were. You aren't-they told me about the scarring and you didn't bruise when I was on top you. And you giggled, a tiny giggle, right after that incident; if you can do that, you can surely speak. And after you have medicine, you are slightly stronger. There-there are things I'm certain you can do… I know you can do." He whispered the last line.

This was all nice of him but the real question was why? Why did he want to do all these things?

"You _can go_ outside. You don't have to be in here. I'm surprised you haven't started seeing things by being inside all day," he said, chuckling softly.

I nodded but I still couldn't agree with everything he wasn't. I still didn't understand.

"And I was gone because, because I had other things…sadly, but I kept thinking about you. I thought about how I could help you. About how I could show what life is like."

I didn't make any movement. "I know I'm not much of a man, just your typical minimum wage making young adult, but it makes me feel like I'm important. That I can help someone…" His voice trailed off.

There was a long silence. So where did this leave us? What was he going to do now? I mean, he's only supposed to be here for an hour a day so how would he have time to do this little excursion?

"I-I haven't finished asking you all the questions I want to ask you." I looked at him and nodded slowly.

"So may I ask you some more?" I nodded again to tell him yes. I was so nervous now. Once again, it was another role-reversal. He was confident now and I was timid.

"Do you want to go outside?" I began to nod but he interrupted me. "Say it. Say what you want."

But I can't just speak. I mean, no one has figured out why I can make noises but not form words.

"Just try."

I looked at him, afraid now. How was it going to get through to him that I was incapable. I shook my head, no, and muttered, "Mmm."

"If-if you can do that, I know you can." But I can't!

"Here, try opening your lips. You always keep your mouth shut, open your lips and see what sound comes out."

I never really thought about spreading my lips apart and seeing what would come out. I mean, all the doctors said it would hurt my throat. They claimed that the small amount of others with my disease tried speaking and it hurt them too much, required too much effort, so they said life would be easier if I remained mute. If just didn't try…

But I spread apart my lips and sighed softly, trying to form a word. It felt like my entire throat was doused in salt water and sandpaper-it hurt like hell.

"Hhaa…," I sighed then my hand went on my throat.

"What wrong?" Eli got closer and placed his hand on mine. "Does it hurt?"

I nodded. It hurt like hell and tears fell. It felt like how my skin felt when it was in sunlight but only in my throat. I shut my mouth, shaking my head. The doctors were right: it was incredibly painful.

"H-hold on. Let me get you some water," Eli said, getting up and heading to the kitchen. He grabbed some ice water and gave it to me. I began to sip and the pain faded a little.

"How do you feel now?" I nodded as a way of saying better.

"What I don't understand is… how you can laugh?" He was talking to himself Then, suddenly, he looked up at me. "Try again."

What? Did he not just see how much pain I was in a minute ago?

"Try again, only this time, don't think about how much pain you'll be in. I'll-I'll give you water afterward."

I looked at him, a tad annoyed, but I decided to listen to him. I opened my mouth, shutting my eyelids shut, gripping onto the edge of the couch, bracing myself for the pain.

"I-I…" I muttered. It felt like a million razorblades were cutting my throat. Another tear slithered down my cheek but I opened my eyes and saw Eli grinning. I wasn't even aware that I had said a word.

"I knew it! You spoke!" He was ecstatic. I smiled weakly, slightly exhausted from all the work that one word made me do. Eli refilled my cup and gave me some more water.

He left shortly after but I managed to say five words that day-_I want to be outside_-and drink five whole glasses of freezing water right after. And it was all because of him.

* * *

**Day Seven**

Simpson and my parents came over instead of Eli. He said he watched the cameras in his office and heard me talk.

"Well, Clare, how do you feel?" He tried to make me talk. He had water all ready in his hands, awaiting to hear my voice. My parents were next to him and they were just as eager as he was.

"G-g-good…" I whispered. I noticed that the pain lessened with the more words I spoke. My voice sounded strange in my ears. I thought it would sound more womanly but it ended up sounding more childish than I expected.

"Oh, honey!" My mother said, crying softly on my father's shoulder. Oh, God, what a stupid Hallmark moment.

"Who discovered this?" My father asked, happily.

"That mailman who volunteers to help Clare," Simpson said. My parents were slightly astonished; apparently they hadn't watched the cameras.

My parents were practically rejoicing and Simpson seemed happy too. I was so thankful that I had a voice now.

* * *

**Day Eight**

Eli came over. We talked, or more like he talked gracefully and I struggled.

"How are you feeling today?"

"A…a little….b-better," I struggled. I took a huge gulp of water. Who knew that water was so magical?

"That's good," he smiled with his whole mouth open. I loved the little gap in his teeth.

"Well, Simpson thanked me for making you talk. And he wants me to stay longer than an hour now. I moved my shift so I could be able to." I was relieved. I wanted him to stay longer, too. Hell, I wished he was actually certified like Alli was so I he could live with me… but that's a little much.

"O-okay," I said faster now then took a smaller sip of water.

"T-this is weird… but I like this," he said, looking away from me. Was he…blushing? "I like sitting with you, and doing what you ask, and hearing your voice…"

I nodded. "I-I like…you… here." Another huge sip of water. I started to realize the more words require more water.

* * *

**Day Fifteen**

Eli and I got to know each other a little bit better over the last couple of days. I knew that his favorite color was purple and he was obsessed with the show "House". He liked to rub his hands on his lap when I asked him something too personal. He loved indie music and when he was a teenager, he was obsessed with Bjork.

He learned things about me. He learned that I liked to sleep without covers, drink more than eat, and watch television with my eyes closed.

I felt stronger now that I was speaking. I was practically immune to the pain but I still needed to have an insane amount of water with me. I was able to move quicker and didn't depend so much on Eli to do things for me but I still needed him.

We were sitting on the couch, our typical afternoon together, and we were asking each other questions again.

"Why-why are you… still h-here…?" I muttered, then taking a sip of water.

"Uh, well-what do you mean?"

"All-all we really…do is-is t-talk."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"N-nothing…. I just thought-thought… that I-I would…need you," I paused to take a huge sip of water. "M-more for m-medical purposes… but-but I don't…"

"You _do_ need me for medically purposes. I mean, I know you're pretty-pretty independent but you would be alone without me…. I think that loneliness is a medical condition that I'm helping you with," he said, jokingly.

I looked puzzled. He thought so much more differently than I did. He _was_ helping me-I _would _be alone without him. I know that there's tons and tons of doctors and my parents but he was the first stranger to come into my life. He was like a… friend. But, of course, I would never tell him that.

"O-okay…" I said, quietly.

"No one should ever be in a house by themselves. It's not healthy."

I noticed that he always talked about me being alone in the house. "W-why… why d-do you mention that…?"

"Mention what?"

"Me. M-me being alone…"

"Because I can relate."

* * *

**Day Nineteen**

More days passed and Eli and I did our usual routine. I woke up, took my medicine, eager to see his face in the afternoon for a couple more hours. I sat and watched television, waiting. Then I waited some more. And some more. Hours passed by and he wasn't here.

Damn, I thought, he was going to be incognito like last time. I trudged to my bedroom, feeling weaker than usual. Eli was giving me this strength that I didn't know I had.

Night came I was in my bed just staring at the ceiling. I wished he was here. I must've drifted off to sleep because I awoke with him hovering over me.

"Hey there, sorry I came so late," he whispered.

* * *

_This is why you give hot guys keys to your house, they'll wake up hovering over you ;)_


	5. Nightlife

**Author's Note: **_Helwo! Enjoy, Chapter Five :)_

_Thanks for reviewing, keep doing it!_

_I do NOT own Degrassi nor its characters, just this sappy story._

* * *

"E-Eli…" I breathed out. I didn't have any water with me and throat felt dry. I thought I was dreaming.

"Shh… yeah, it's me. I just blacked out all the cameras," he whispered. "I'm taking you out tonight."

"_W-what_?" I croaked.

"I'm taking you outside. It's nighttime so I think you'll be safe."

I couldn't believe it. Outside? I can't remember a time when I've been outside. I don't have any good clothes to wear anyway. All I have are white tank tops and pajama bottoms. I don't have any actual clothes.

I shook my head but realized it was little to dark for him to see my head move. I really didn't want to speak because I didn't have any water... but I did anyway. "N-no."

"Clare, this isn't up for debate, I'm taking you," he said, adamant. "You need to see what it's like."

"But…" My throat burned. "I-I don't… have… a-any cl-clothes…."

"What you're wearing now is fine; do you at least have a jacket?"

"No…" My throat was killing me now. I wished he would turn the light on or something so he could see my gestures.

"Alright, you probably won't need one. It'll be hot outside. It's summer, after all." Eli moved from over me and headed for the light. Thank God, he could now see me.

"Ready?" He was too eager.

I shook my head; I hadn't even gotten up from bed yet. "Well, come on," he said, excitedly. "Hurry up!"

I wondered why he was rushing me. I slowly got up and pantomimed water. "Oh, right, I'm sorry! I was making you talk and I forgot-I'm so sorry!" He quickly hurried out of the room to retrieve a glass.

I got up all the way and stood up in front of the mirror and examined myself. Was I really ready to go outside? I mean, I know no harm would be done to me while I went out at night but I wasn't really dressed up for "nightlife". What would people think of me, seeing me in pajamas bottoms, abnormally pale?

My thoughts were interrupted by Eli coming in and handing me water. "Come on," he urged me again. "You don't look bad, you look beaut…" his voice trailed off and he left the room. Was he about to call me beautiful? I blushed slightly. Whatever, I didn't have to over-analyze his words. He was rushing me and I didn't want to upset him.

I found some shoes next to my dresser. All this time I didn't even know I had shoes other than bedroom slippers. Eli was right: it was time for me to go outside.

He opened the door and locked it behind him as we headed outside. I'm kind of glad that my doctors trusted him with a key to my house but I was really didn't want him to wake up over me like that again. That seemed quite stalker-ish.

The air felt so different than I thought it would. It wasn't hot like I thought summertime was, it was surprising chilly. But it wasn't Antarctic chilly-it was average. I looked around soaking in my surroundings on the porch. There were stars. It was a like a star erupted and spread its remnants across the sky-it was magnificent. People were outside, just like in the daytime, walking and talking and playing. There were dozens of smells: car exhaust, restaurants, trees and flowers. I never knew all of these smells could be smelled at once and that they all surrounded my apartment.

"I want to show you something," Eli said, he took my hand, gently. At first, he was cool, then he became warm-no he didn't have a temperature. His skin felt normal pressed against mine.

We walked, extra carefully, down my apartment steps.

"Wait," Eli said, stopping at the end of the steps. "I have extra medication for you." I stared at the bottle in his other hand. These weren't my prescribed meds.

"I want you to try these. Do you trust me?" he whispered the last sentence. Why wouldn't I trust him? I nodded, "Y-yes." I was going to need water soon, my throat felt dry again.

"Then, take them. I promise they won't hurt you… They'll make you stronger-strong enough to walk around more with getting weak." He let go of my hand and opened the pill bottle in his other hand. I didn't know what the meds said but I just knew it wasn't my meds. The pills were smaller.

"Here, take two," he said, pouring them into my hand. I was nervous at first but I trusted his judgment and swallowed the pills. They didn't feel contradictory like the others, they felt accurate.

"Alright," he said putting the pill bottle in his pocket. "You're ready to see what I'm going to show you."

I nodded. Whatever he was going to show me required me to take medication-I was very weary of whatever it was. But how did he have meds anyway? Did he have to take them, too? Did my doctors give him something?

We walked to his car. I was surprised he even had one. I had assumed he delivered the mail on foot, like a renegade mailman, but I that was probably just an awkward fantasy. Anyway, his car was pretty average. It was no hooptie but it was no Mustang. I was about to walk around to the other side of the car and grab the door but he stopped me. He opened it for me. I just stared at him, smiling at his chivalry.

I just randomly realized that he wasn't wearing his uniform. He was wearing a sleek black shirt and loose black skinny jeans. He looked like a hipster prince.

"Well," he smirked, "are you going to get in?"

I nodded. I think he smirked because he knew I was checking him out. I chuckled slightly.

As bent down to sit in the car, I realized that I didn't feel so weak. For some reason, my legs didn't feel as restricted as they normally did; my arms felt limber but now tired-everything felt renewed. Was it those pills Eli gave me?

He got in the car and started to drive. It was silent. I wished I could speak but my throat felt tired from over-exerting it earlier. I was kind of bummed that my whole body except my throat felt better. I don't know why, but it felt like my throat was worse than before.

"I'm taking you on a make-shift tour of the outdoors," he said.

"Mm," I said, nodding.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" he glanced over at me. I rolled my eyes at his joke. "Seriously, though," he said. "Does your throat hurt? Try to speak."

"Y-yes…" I croaked. My voice sounded scratchy and old.

"Okay, if it hurts, I'll get you some water and we'll see how it goes. Maybe you've over-used it."

I nodded, agreeing with him. I surely hope I hadn't. I saved the majority of my words for him.

"Anyway, I want you to close your eyes until I say open them." Reluctantly, I did as I was told. I felt so submissive around him.

My eyes were closed for what felt like decades. I felt the car moving underneath us so I knew we hadn't stopped.

"Open them," he said, abruptly. As soon as he said that, I felt the car stop.

I opened my eyes and looked around me. We were in the midst of a park; no one was out here but us and there was a small picnic blanket with a basket at the end of it. I grinned widely. Was this a _date_?

Eli got out of the car and came around to my side. He opened the door for me and I got up. He took my hand and led me toward the blanket.

"Stop 1, Miss Clare," he said, as we arrived to the picnic. It was so beautiful. There were roses in the middle of the blanket and the food was already set up. I was slightly weary of the bugs attacking the food but there weren't any I could see.

We sat down at the dinner and Eli gave me a water. I guzzled it like a man lost in the desert who saw a geyser. Eli chuckled at my thirst quenching display.

"Do you feel like you can talk?"

I guess we'll find out. "Y-yeah… a … l-little." He smiled and then I smiled. We were so cheesy but I liked it.

"Well, let's hurry up and eat, there are two more stops left!"

"O-okay…"

We ate and talked and then we got up. He grabbed my hand and told me to close my eyes again. He took off running and I was being dragged along with him. I didn't feel tired, or any type of weak; my legs felt like they could move forever-there was so much energy running through my veins. I laughed as we ran. I didn't know where we were running too but I felt the outdoors surrounding me. I wished this moment could've lasted forever.

He suddenly stopped. "O-open…your… eyes," he panted. I laughed and my jaw dropped when I saw where we were.

"Stop 2," he whispered.

I looked around and saw an array of people standing around laughing and looking up at the sky. The sky was filled with fireworks of different shapes and colors. It was breathtaking. I was amazed at the assortment of people. I had never been around so many strangers being so happy. There were all sorts of people of different races, heights, shapes-there were as different as each firework in the sky.

Eli still had his hand in my hand. We stared at the fireworks together, hypnotized by its loud beauty.

After moments of soaking in the wonder of the world, we took off again running. This time he told me to leave my eyes open. I stared at everything around me. All the people were looking at us run but they weren't watching us like we were freaks, they encouraged us to keep running. It was the oddest thing.

We ran, and ran, and ran. I still wasn't tired. I could've ran with Eli forever. We ran through the park and into the city, past all the people, past all the billboards and signs, past all the restaurants. I felt like we ran through everything Eli drove past earlier.

We stopped in front of another apartment complex. It didn't look like my building.

"Uh…" I said, realizing it was his building.

"Stop 3," he said, grinning.

I was nervous as we walked up the stairs into his apartment. I began to try to calm myself down and ignore that I was going into his home. I tried to change the subject.

"Y-your car…" I sighed. "Y-you… left… it. I-in the park."

"I can go back and getting later. No one's gonna steal it." He let go of my hand and unlocked his door. I hated how he had an answer for just about everything.

After he unlocked the door, he turned and looked at me, smoldering me with his eyes. "You trust me, right?," he asked me, whispering. I felt like he asked me that a million times.

"Y-yes…," I said, softly.

"Then come in," he whispered again. "I want you to see _my _life."

After that, he took me by the hand and led me inside. I knew, after this night, that I was in love with him.

* * *

_Yay, fun in Eli's house, and what exactly did he give Clare to make her stronger? You'll soon find out ]_


	6. StarCrossed

**Author's Note: **_Helwo! Enjoy, Chapter Six. Sorry it took me so long to write. I've been _insanely _busy!_

_Thanks for reviewing, keep doing it!_

_I do NOT own Degrassi nor its characters, just this sappy story._

* * *

We stepped into his apartment. I could hardly believe I was actually getting a taste of his world. His apartment looked how I would imagine it to look: very artsy with abstract paintings on the wall, band posters, and strange pottery figurines. The life of mailman is deeper than one thinks.

"Well?" He said, turning to me, watching me as I soaked in his house.

"I-its… ni..ce," I whispered out.

He smiled.

Why would he want me to see his house? I began to ponder that as he took my hand again and led me to his bedroom. My heart started to race. Why were going in here? Were those pills he gave me date rape drugs? I shouldn't trust him-he's going to assault me. And I thought he was such an innocent man; no, he assaults the sick!

"Now… don't get the wrong idea… okay? I'm-I'm not showing you my bedroom because…of sexual things… I'm telling you why I-I'm showing you why I relate to you so much," he said, exasperatedly. "You asked me when we first met what life was like and I couldn't give you a straight answer. This is what life is like." He pointed to an array of pills and books on top of his dresser by his bed. All the books said: _Life without Feeling_; _Sensations_ and _Remedies for Nerve Damage. _He saw me staring at his books.

"Clare, I'm mononeuropathic. I'm sick just like you."

Time stood still for what felt like centuries. What? He's sick? How can that be? He looked perfectly healthy. I started to replay first meeting him for signs:

1. His skin was almost as pale as mine; but I thought it was beautifully pale, like silk

2. When he fell he claimed he was "testing" me but he felt and it felt like it took him too long to get up

3. His access to pills

4. His incessant mention of being alone and relating to me

He really was sick; I didn't even see it.

"Hello… Clare?" I must've zoned out. I looked at him. I stared into his eyes, gazing at him intensely and some sense of clarity mixed with bravery washed over and clouded my judgment. I grabbed his scrawny shoulders and pulled him closer to me. I smashed my lips against his, kissing him with all the power I had. I pulled away realizing what I had done.

I don't know what compelled me to do so but I had to kiss him. Maybe it was because he told me that he was sick like me, maybe it was because he took me outside, or maybe it was adrenaline from being inside his house; I think it was a mixture of all three things.

"Clare…" he said to me, his eyes filled with awe.

We kept staring at each other and then it was his turn. He kissed me pulling me close to him. Our lips smashed together and we aimlessly fell on top of his bed. He was hovering over, just like before, and his lips moved to the base of my throat. He slowly cascaded his hands down my breasts and waist, moving his hands to feel my flesh.

My heart pounded incessantly and my breathing became ragged. My hands moved to his hair, grabbing his soft locks. He moved his lips back to mine, his hand underneath my top now. I didn't move it away; I loved his cool hands on my body which was now set aflame with passion.

I moaned into the kiss as he squeezed my breast. Our lips were plastered together, and our bodies moved in rhythm as we laid there. His hands were on my arms now, and my hands were on his waist. Our bodies switched positions and I was on top of him. Still kissing furiously, somehow in our entanglement, his shirt came off and my pants were off.

I didn't want anything to stop but we had to. My legs started to grow weak and my head was spinning.

I broke the kiss, breathing in the oxygen that I was missing. "E-Eli…" I said, looking down at him, our heads so close that our lips were inches away from touching. "I-I'm sorry…I-I'm tired…"

Eli chuckled darkly then kissed my forehead. "Yeah? Well, let's stop. The medicine should be wearing off anyway…"

I giggled as I looked down seeing myself pantless and seeing Eli shirtless. He laughed again, too and I kissed his cheek and moved off of him to lie down next to him.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking at me, smiling bashfully. "I didn't mean to get-get so personal…"

I giggled. I was still a little shell-shocked from our "makeout session"."It's… okay…. I didn't… mean to feel weak…"

"You don't have to apologize for that," Eli said, reassuringly. "As you know now, it happens to many of us."

I wanted to know more about his issue. "What's-what's mononeuropathy…?" I said slowly.

"It's-it's a nerve disorder. You know those pills I gave you? It's my pain killer: hydrocodone, or as you may know it, vicodin. And my disorder makes it so sometimes I feel excruciating pain and sometimes, I can't feel at all. That's why I can relate to you. I used-I used to be alone but I told myself…one day that life was worth living…"

"What about your family?"

"They didn't want to support me… so I left them… and supported myself…"

I wanted to kiss him again because he was more like me than I thought but I was too embarrassed.

I moved over to him and cuddled against underneath arm, and we laid there, until I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Day Twenty**

I awoke in a house that was not mine. Where was I? My eyes darted around and then I saw Eli's heavenly face, fast asleep, looking so peaceful. I realized where I was and started to get up but then was afraid when I heard a loud, clanging noise. Eli practically jumped out of his body when he heard it.

"C-Clare?" He looked at me alarmingly.

"I'm here…" I whispered to him. He looked at me, somewhat relieved that I was still here.

The loud noise came back, even louder.

"My-my door-knocker. Hold on!" Eli dashed from the bedroom. I decided to sneakily follow. It was hard to walk-I felt really stiff. I hadn't had my medicine yet so I felt kind of weak.

"Hello…? Oh! Simpson!"

Shit, shit, shit! If it's Simpson-he's probably angry Eli and I went out last night.

I watched Simpson sit down on Eli's couch, looking angrily at him. "I'm here on behalf of Clare's doctors and her parents. You are not allowed to come watch her, take her outside, be around her-you are a bad influence. You had one job to do-_one_-and you couldn't do it. We are done with your services. Now, where is Clare?"

Eli looked back at Simpson, sorrow and remorse filled in his eyes. "Wait a minute, I was the one who helped her speak. I think I deserve a little credit and, not to mention, I keep her safe. She is trapped inside a house-"

"That's enough, Mr. Goldsworthy. We appreciate what you have contributed but you know the rules; outside is off-limits. Especially letting her sleepover at your house!"

"How do you even know she's here?"

"Because, if she isn't, we can press charges. You're lucky we're not for even taking her outside."

"That's complete and total bullshit!"

I couldn't handle the arguing. I slowly showed myself to Simpson.

"I-I'm here…"

"Clare, we're taking you home. We're going to get you a new nurse. For right now, your trial period is over. You can't be trusted anymore…"

And with that, Simpson took me "home" and Eli and I were separated.

* * *

_Separation? Suspended trial period? What will Clare do?_


	7. Nurse Jenna

**Author's Note: **_Helwo! Enjoy, Chapter Seven. I have been terribly ill with the flu so I haven't really had much will-power to write. I want to thank all the favorite story, favorite author and story alets I've gotten for this. The story will be wrapping up soon but I hope you enjoy it to its end. This will be the shortest chapter but chapter eight will make up for it._

_Thanks for reviewing, keep doing it!_

_I do NOT own Degrassi nor its characters, just this sappy story._

* * *

When I got back to my apartment I felt this cold inside me. This strange emptiness. I had silently cried the whole way home while Simpson was driving.

I had felt extremely fatigued and felt like I didn't deserve to live. There was no point-the man who gave me life, who had struggled just like me, wasn't allowed to be around me. There was no point in trying anymore…

I had sat down on my couch and my mother and father were in the building already. I was absolutely disgusted looking at their faces. They didn't have enough courage to go to Eli's house and talk with him, they had to use Simpson? What pathetic cowards.

As soon as I got settled in, they started to reprimand me.

"Clare, what the hell were you thinking? We trusted not only him but you. We trusted you that you would not go running off with this man. And that is the one thing you do first!" My dad was livid.

I felt like slapping him. "Y-you… never told…me-me that! And…. What's-s so wrong… with going… out-outside?"

My mother tried to explain to me calmly the issues. "Sweetheart, we care about your health and safety and if something happened to you…"

"Nothing…happen-happened." At times like these, I was thankful for being able to talk but wished that I didn't talk so slowly.

"Well, you slept over at his house," my father snapped. Oh, God, that was his pathetic attempt at calling me a whore.

I shook my head. "Y-yes… but I didn't-we didn't…" A tear fell again; I was infuriated.

There was no point in arguing everything was over. Maybe I could try and get my trial period back-at least if I couldn't have Eli, I could have something to look forward to.

"Let-let me… continue the-the trial…" I pleaded quietly.

"Why?" My dad spat.

"Be-because… that has nothing-nothing to do with…Eli."

Simpson nodded. "She has a point."

I mean, seriously, what does that have to do with Eli? I could have a new nurse and continue progressing.

My mother sighed and reluctantly agreed. "I guess you're right, Clare. We really don't have to suspend your trial, we just have to monitor."

My father huffed like a spoiled child. "Okay, well, I guess she can continue but I want it to be a female nurse."

* * *

**Day Twenty-Two**

"Hello!" a overly-high pitched voice squealed into my eardrums. "My name's Nurse Jenna Middleton; how are you?"

God, I could tell that this broad was a cheerleader in high school. She exuded too much "bubbliness".

"Uh…?" I said, slowly looking at her. I knew that Simpson and my parents spent all day scoping out reliable and practical nurses but I couldn't figure out what made this woman slip in between the cracks.

"Well, I'm going to be taking care of you and you're gonna love me!" She gave me a hug, a little too tight and, I didn't tell her this, she left a purple indent of her hand on my skin.

"Yeah…" I said, smiling half-heartedly, looking through her.

* * *

**Day Twenty-Three**

Nurse Jenna came over. She slept over. She watched me. She talked on the phone. She cooked. She cleaned. There was nothing she didn't do.

I was sinking into depression easier by the day. It wasn't that Jenna was mean, she just wasn't the right company. I mean, she did her best trying to empathize with me but I didn't straight without Eli…. He understood me more than anyone else did.

* * *

**Day Twenty-Six**

"Tell me about your love life," Nurse Jenna said to me, surprising the hell out of me. We were sitting in our new normal routine, watching the Today show on the couch, her drinking coffee and I drinking water. We usually don't talk during Matt Laurer so I looked at her like she was on some type of really hallucinogenic drug.

"Um, it's, well…n-non-existent," I managed to stutter out.

Jenna's eyes lit up. "Your face turned a brilliant shade of red when you talked to me just now! What's his name?" I had never seen her so excited.

"Well, he-his name is Elijah Golds-"

She cut me off.

"Get the hell out of here!"

"What?"

"Elijah Goldsworthy? Works at the post office?"

"Yeah…" Shit, it's probably an ex-girlfriend of his. Damn it, damn it, damn it! I don't know how to handle ex-girlfriends. Maybe I should just play it off….

"N-no, no, no…. D-did I say, Elijah? I meant-meant… Ian! Ian Goldsworthy?" God, I hoped that sounded convincing.

"Hahaha," Jenna cackled. "You're hilarious, Clare. You're the worst liar. What? Are you afraid I was gonna be his ex-girlfriend? Heavens, no-I was his nurse."

* * *

_Hmm... Nurse Jenna has connections..._


	8. The Rise and the Fall

**Author's Note: **_Helwo! Enjoy, Chapter Eight. Thanks for all of the reviews, and love and support. As a reader, this chapter will leave you with some questions but they will all be answered!_

_Thanks for reviewing, keep doing it!_

_I do NOT own Degrassi nor its characters, just this sappy story._

* * *

"You were…?"

"Yes," Nurse Jenna said, smiling brightly. "And through him, that's how I found out about you, actually. You see, I still am his nurse but only on check-ups. You know about his disease, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah… he told me…."

"Yeah, well, he gets sick but he doesn't like to speak up about it. The doctors requested a full-time nurse for him but he adamantly refused. He wanted to live life on his own and go through his struggles like a normal person. But, his health is deteriorating quickly and he still needs someone to keep watch on him."

I nodded again. Wow, what a small world we live in.

"Anyway, I see him on checkups and I help his with intensive physical therapy. In order to strengthen himself, he took on a job that was rigorous on his muscles: mail-working. That enables him to use his muscles and feel sensations which are hard for mononeuropathics."

I respected Eli even more after Jenna told me this. And her more, for some strange reason…

"Well, tell me about your love, if it's not too personal…" Jenna was excited once more to hear about Eli and I. I looked at her, slightly embarrassed.

"I-I fell for him… when I first-first saw him; he would watch-watch out for me. He taught me how to… speak…."

"Aah!" Jenna squeaked. "How romantic!"

I chuckled slightly. "Yeah… and now-now he has to stay away from me… because he took me outside…. And I-I wasn't supposed to…."

Jenna's face fell. "That's bullshit!"

I had never heard her cuss before so it startled me. "Y-yeah…"

"Who said you guys had to be apart?"

"My doctor, Simpson, and my-my parents…"

"Well, you don't have to listen to them," she whispered. "You can go see him."

"B-but, I don't remember-I don't know where he lives, and I don't have a car and I don't-"

"Stop with all the don'ts," Jenna interrupted. "There has to be at least one thing that connects you guys."

I started to think. Our disease connects us but that wasn't physical. He hasn't given me anything. He hasn't left anything-the car! He left the car a few nights ago! I don't know if he went to retrieve it but Eli didn't seem to care too much about the car. Maybe I should go back to the park and see if he left it.

"He left-left a car. In the park. We went had dinner together a few nights ago and he left his car there…."

"Alright! Well, do you remember what park it was?"

I was discouraged. I had one lead and there it went, down the tubes. "No…"

"Well, there's only two parks in this area, Hope Springs and Lake Watercress…. Was there water nearby?"

"I-I don't remember… but I do remember fireworks…"

"Fireworks! You were at Hope Springs!"

My face lit up almost like Jenna's. I was glad she was here to remember that.

"Alright, now go to that car and hope he remembers to go get it."

"But what if he already has gotten his car?" I asked, unsure of what to do.

"Then, I'll check the hospital's records and find out where he lives. But I'm pretty sure he left his car in the park."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because," Jenna sighed. "When Eli doesn't care for something, he leaves it. "

"H-how do you know that?"

"Eli told me how he felt about you. He was getting treatment for a few days and it was right after he met you. He was coming in getting tests and he told me he saw a beautiful creature faint right in front of him. He said he couldn't leave her because…he cared for it. And, from what you said about that car, he didn't like it that much-he probably left it," Jenna said, simply.

I didn't think she would've been smart enough to infer that information from his words to my words but I guess I have to give her some credit.

I nodded. "Oh…"

Jenna got up from the couch, about to leave for the kitchen. But I had to ask her something. "Nurse Jenna," I said, softly.

"Yes?"

"Why-why are you helping me with Eli?"

"Because, during treatment, the happiest I'd ever seen him was when he talked about you. He's in love with you and other doctors are too blind to see that. You can't let love go while it's blooming-it'll never fully blossom and end up dying prematurely…" And with that, she headed to the kitchen.

* * *

**Day Twenty-Seven**

Although, I didn't quite know when to leave, I had Nurse Jenna's support in finding Eli. We had conspired together over the course of the last twenty-four hours. She said she'd cover for me and pretend that I was sleeping and would tell Simpson and the others not to come over. I felt like today was the day. I was going to go out and find Eli for myself and be with him. I was going to make my own decision without the help of others.

I headed for my living room, seeing Jenna sitting on the couch, watching the Today show.

"I'll-I'll be leaving today…" I said, quietly. I didn't really want to speak-I was like a defenseless desert; I hadn't had water yet.

Jenna turned and looked at me with that dazzling smile of hers. "Incredible! You've decided! Alright, so you remember the plan?"

"Yes," I said. "Take an overnight bag…. Bring-bring directions for the car and plenty… of-of water. And-and you'll hold down the fort over here…"

"Yes!" She clapped her hands and then walked over to me. She kissed my forehead, squeezing me too tightly, leaving purple bruises on my skin. She really needed to cool it on the hugs but I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I never told her.

I broke out of the bear hug and packed my overnight book-bag. Hours passed by-I had to wait until nightfall before I could go out safely. I asked Jenna if she could drive me to the park but she said it was more romantic to "find" Eli and that someone needed to be in the house to make it look like no one snuck out. As I started to head out, Jenna gave me directions to Hope Springs that she had printed out.

"I feel so… giddy! I'm a part of an excursion!"

I nodded, not quite understanding her logic. Hope Springs wasn't that far away on foot but whatever…

"Alright, have fun with Eli," she said, smiling and watching me as I prepared to step out the door.

I wasn't quite sure if she meant physical fun or mental fun. "Yeah," I sighed. "Thanks." Then my worries got the best of me. "But-but what if he's… not there…"

"Trust me, babe, he will be. Now go have fun!" Jenna practically pushed me out of the front door and outside.

I began to look around at my directions and started to walk aimlessly through the town. I remembered seeing all the landmarks I had passed by in Eli's car. There were so many colors to get lost into at night that I was surprised I had even paid attention to my directions.

I started to feel a little weak for some reason, with all the walking around. Why was I feeling so weak? The other night I was perfectly fine. Oh, right, I had vicodin to help around-tonight I was on my own.

I had reached my destination and the park looked so vacant. There was green everywhere; it attacked the ground and every place my feet seemed to walk through. I was feeling somewhat tired at this point, immensely tired, more tired than usual. What was wrong with me? I trudged along, searching for Eli's car in the trees.

I didn't quite remember what it looked liked, all I knew was that it wasn't fancy. I walked around the grass-eaten park and my knees started to give out. What was going on? I felt dizzy and faint like I had walked up a mountain. I felt like I was going to collapse.

I located a small tree stump in the park and rested there. I was weary of strangers watching me; aware of a scrawny, young woman alone. But I was so fatigued the thought wandered out of my mind as fast as it came into it.

Suddenly, I saw these beaming headlights flash in front of my eyes. They nearly blinded me and I fell off the tree stump as a result of it.

Apparently, there was a hill past this stump, and I fell rolling in all of the grass and rubble down the hill. My skin was scraped and bruised-I felt my skin turn purple. I knew that I was getting hurt. All my feelings fell down with me as I rolled falling deeper and deeper. I started to realize why I had felt so tired to begin with. I forgot to take my medicine this morning….

"Clare!" I heard a shriek from afar.

_Eli?_

* * *

_Clare forgot her medicine! And is Eli _really_ there? _


End file.
